TIPS FOR DEALING WITH BEGGARS AT TRAFFIC LIGHTS (A POEM IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW)

Avoid eye contact.
Turn on the radio.
Make sure the windows are up
and the doors are locked.
Smile and through clenched teeth
say / I have nothing,
(knowing full well
of the loose change
in your pocket).
Take another route.
Tint your windows.
Pretend you’re looking
for something important
under your seat
at the precise moment
they arrive.
Simply look irritated
and wave them away.
Shout at them.
Tell them they are bad people
for making you feel bad.
Treat them like alien fart smells
on the perfume mothership.
Call the cops.
Complain to your friends
over expensive cocktails
about how these people
make you feel unsafe,
when really
what they make you feel
is guilty.
Drive at them.
Hoot.
Become mad.

And whatever you do
just don’t be human.
There are just too many intersections
and not enough feelings
for that kind of
decadent indulgence.